Trigger Warning: sexual assault
The summer I turned eleven, a truck loaded with fertilizer pulled into Garretson’s Building Supply for the night. A fire started and mixed with the fertilizer caused a tremendous explosion. It leveled several blocks of buildings and broke windows all over town.
It was indicative of bad things that can happen when you least expect.
We got up early the next morning to go bean picking. Even though we lived in the country we could see a glow over the mountain ridge. Later we drove through the city and we could see what happened. It looked like a war zone. And smelled like death. Some students went to school in the morning like me and the others in the afternoon. The split shift left both students’ unsupervised while parents were at work.
The YMCA was a new building and had skylights over the dressing rooms. You could imagine what some boys did. They climbed up on the roof to a bird’s eye view of girls dressing or undressing. Paul told me later Kathy had pretty breasts. He didn’t comment on mine.
We had two periods of social studies. It gave plenty of time for us to get bored. The teacher didn’t pay much attention. The boys whispered, talked and joked using crude language. Paul asked me if we would have sex with him. I ignored him.
I was having headaches. Mom wondered if glasses would help. She dropped me off at the eye doctor’s office while she ran errands leaving me to fend for myself. Later in my story I will call him “Doctor Eye’s.
After my eye exam he said I might have breast cancer instead of a vision problem. He could tell by examining my breasts he stood behind me and did just that. I was shy, naïve and vulnerable. He knew and took advantage of me.
We had Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s ranch in Sublimity. Their barn housed a grass seed cleaner to plant lawns. Two of my boy cousins suggested that me and my sister Sophie play hide-and seek. It had lots of -hidey holes- perfect for the game except it was a dark place. But when I found a hiding place my oldest cousin stood behind me and fondled my breasts. I didn’t know how he exactly knew where I would hide. I should have left right then but I didn’t think he’d do it again. I was wrong. I told my little sister ‘let’s go to the house’. Later she thanked me for protecting her.
That summer I was working as a nanny for my Aunt right after her baby boy was born. My youngest cousin had a bedroom across the hall from mine. He had a knack for opening the door just as I was getting undressed taunting me that I had little breasts.
Some guys like big breasts and others small. After my son was born men whistled at my milk engorged breasts.
Stupid breasts anyway.
